Weary

I'm quite frankly, tired of being on an emotional rollercoaster. One minute I'm happy and energetic, the next minute I'm depressed and exhausted. I really wish my heart would just make up her damn mind! The very minute something starts to interest me or I start to feel somewhat... normal, my heart has to go and ruin it all!

I really do hate missing him. I know he no longer loves me. I know. I know he doesn't want me. I call my little girl every night while she's visiting him and when I speak with her, I'm silently praying he wants to speak to me too. But he never does. Sometimes he sounds almost happy to hear my voice. Other times he sounds as though I'm just a huge bother. I really wish he would stop causing my heart to flutter and flip. I know he's not actually doing anything. It's all me. I just can't seem to learn, to train myself. I have 2 years worth of this emotional ride of turmoil? Seriously?