Trying

Today was relatively decent.  I was able to do my daily routine and then some without dwelling overly much on my husband.  Took pics of my sister in law's puppies.  Taught her some things in Photoshop.  Went grocery shopping... blah blah, it worked pretty well.  Now, of course, I'm sitting here and beginning to think again. 

Why did all this happen?  God, I love him.  Doesn't he know I love him?  I wish I knew if he still loved me.  I want him to.  I never thought such a hole could be created inside of me.  And become permanent.  I don't think anything could fill it save him.  I wish he would fill it, make me whole again.